Chapter Three: The Westfall Incident

Or: Why Sup Is No Longer Trusted With Bathroom Breaks

By the time Olizza reached Westfall, she had learned several important things.

Demons were useful.

Daggers were considerably less impressive than they looked.

Caves were evil.

And having a higher-level companion nearby dramatically increased the likelihood of surviving questionable engineering decisions.

Fortunately, Olizza had Sup.

Sup was three levels higher than Olizza.

Three entire levels.

As far as Olizza was concerned, this made him practically indestructible.

More importantly, it established a highly effective combat system:

Step One: Olizza identifies a target.
Step Two: Sup stands nearby.
Step Three: Olizza attacks target.
Step Four: Target regrets its decisions.

It was simple.

It was elegant.

It was reliable.

There was only one unforeseen design flaw.

Sup occasionally had to pee.

This would not normally have presented a significant engineering problem.

Unfortunately, Sup had developed the habit of going to the bathroom without telling Olizza first.

---

The First Incident

There was a Defias.

There was Olizza.

There was Sup.

The calculations were straightforward.

Defias + Sup + Olizza = Dead Defias.

Olizza attacked.

The Defias charged.

Olizza deployed several increasingly enthusiastic applications of Applied Interdimensional Mechanics.

Then she waited for Sup to join the fight.

He did not.

"Sup?"

The Defias continued stabbing her.

"SUP?"

Still nothing.

At this point, Olizza's original combat calculation underwent an unfortunate revision:

Defias + Olizza − Sup = Problem.

A fairly serious problem, as it turned out.

Olizza attempted to compensate with additional applications of Applied Interdimensional Mechanics.

The Defias remained unconvinced.

Shortly thereafter, Olizza died.

Sup returned from the bathroom.

This was when Olizza learned where he had been.

She made a note of the incident.

Surely, she thought, this particular experimental failure would not be repeated.

---

The Second Incident

It was repeated.

There was another Defias.

Olizza looked around.

Sup was nearby.

Excellent.

She attacked.

The Defias charged.

Olizza began her usual sequence.

Bane of Agony.

Corruption.

Immolate.

Then she waited for Sup.

Nothing happened.

Olizza looked around.

"Sup?"

The Defias stabbed her.

There was no Sup.

And suddenly several previously unrelated pieces of experimental data connected themselves.

Defias.

Missing Sup.

Previous unexplained disappearance.

Bladder.

Olizza stared at the approaching Defias.

"Oh, you've GOT to be kidding me."

She died.

Again.

Sup returned.

Again.

He had gone to the bathroom.

Again.

At this point, the situation could no longer be classified as an isolated incident.

It was now repeatable experimental data.

---

Death provided Olizza with several minutes of uninterrupted research time.

She used it productively.

By the time Sup returned, Olizza had composed a song.

🎵 Off he went to take a pee... 🎵
🎵 Left poor Olizza with Defias THREE! 🎵
🎵 Oopsieboom went BOOM again... 🎵
🎵 Next time Sup, just SAY WHEN! 🎵

Sup's response to this important contribution to engineering culture has not been preserved for the historical record.

Olizza's response has.

She updated her research.

She updated her procedures.

And from that day forward, before engaging anything remotely dangerous, Olizza added one additional step to her pre-combat checklist:

Determine the current status of Sup's bladder.

It was not the sort of safety procedure Olizza had expected to develop during her career in Applied Interdimensional Mechanics.

Nevertheless, good engineering is built upon reliable experimental data.

And the data was becoming extremely clear.

For science. 🔧🐿️💥

 

Chapter Two: This Is Definitely Still Engineering

It did not take long for people to begin asking questions.

Questions such as:

"Olizza, why is there an imp following you?"

"Olizza, why are your hands glowing?"

And, rather rudely:

"Olizza... are you a warlock?"

The answer, of course, was no.

Olizza was an engineer.

Specifically, she was now an Engineer Specializing in Applied Interdimensional Mechanics.

There was a very important distinction.

Warlocks summoned demons using magic.

Olizza had summoned a demon using a mechanical squirrel.

Therefore, what Olizza was doing was clearly engineering.

The logic was flawless.

Unfortunately, not everyone seemed capable of understanding it.

---

The loss of Nibbles had created several important research questions.

Where had he gone?

Why had the portal appeared?

Why had an imp come through it?

And, perhaps most importantly:

Could it be done again?

The responsible engineering approach would have been to carefully reconstruct the original experiment under controlled laboratory conditions.

Olizza did not do this.

Instead, she began experimenting.

There were soul shards.

There were strange energies.

There were spells that Olizza absolutely refused to call spells.

And there were considerably more demons than had previously been present in her engineering career.

Every discovery simply created another question.

What other creatures existed beyond these dimensional boundaries?

Could they be summoned reliably?

Could they be controlled?

Could they carry tools?

Could they locate mineral deposits?

Could they make tea?

The tea question remained surprisingly difficult.

---

As her research progressed, Olizza discovered several new techniques.

Other people called them things like Corruption, Shadow Bolt, and Bane of Agony.

Olizza found these names unnecessarily dramatic.

They were obviously examples of interdimensional material degradation, directed energy transfer, and long-duration structural destabilization.

Much more scientific.

And considerably less likely to result in someone shouting:

"THAT GNOME IS A WARLOCK!"

Which was beginning to happen with irritating frequency.

---

There was, however, one aspect of Applied Interdimensional Mechanics that Olizza had not anticipated.

She liked it.

Engineering had always been unpredictable.

Sometimes machines worked.

Sometimes they exploded.

Sometimes they worked and then exploded, which was generally more exciting.

But when an engineering experiment went catastrophically wrong, people tended to ask uncomfortable questions.

"Was it supposed to do that?"

"Why is the ceiling on fire?"

"Where did my toolbox go?"

Applied Interdimensional Mechanics was different.

When something glowed purple, screamed, caught fire, or emerged unexpectedly from another dimension...

everyone simply assumed that was supposed to happen.

Olizza found this enormously liberating.

For the first time in her engineering career, catastrophic failure and successful experimentation were almost indistinguishable.

She had finally found her field.

There was only one problem.

Somewhere, in some unknown corner of the universe, there was still a mechanical squirrel named Nibbles.

And Olizza intended to find him.

Eventually.

Right after she figured out how to make the demons carry her mining equipment.

For science. 🔧🐿️💥

 

Chapter One: The Squirrel Incident

Olizza Oopsieboom was not supposed to become a warlock.

This is important.

Olizza had plans.

She was going to become one of Gnomeregan's finest engineers.

Possibly the finest engineer.

Her first truly great invention was a mechanical squirrel named Nibbles.

Nibbles was designed to perform several important functions:

• Collect small objects.
• Locate mineral deposits.
• Carry emergency engineering supplies.
• Eventually make tea.

The tea functionality was still theoretical.

Unfortunately, Nibbles had a problem.

His power output was approximately 3.7% below specifications.

This was unacceptable.

So Olizza made a few adjustments.

Then a few more.

Then one additional adjustment that, in retrospect, may have been unnecessary.

Somewhere during this process, Nibbles' auxiliary power coupling became connected to a device Olizza had acquired which was labelled something along the lines of:

INTERDIMENSIONAL ENERGY REGULATOR

Olizza maintains that the handwriting on the label was very difficult to read.

She activated Nibbles.

For approximately three seconds, everything worked perfectly.

Then Nibbles began to glow purple.

"Interesting," Olizza said.

There was a noise.

FWOOOOOMP.

Nibbles disappeared.

A green portal appeared in the middle of the workshop.

Olizza stared at it.

Something stared back.

A moment later, a small, irritated-looking imp stepped through the portal.

Olizza looked at the imp.

The imp looked at Olizza.

They both looked at the smoking remains of the workbench.

"Well," Olizza said.

"That's not supposed to happen."

The imp folded his arms.

"Obviously."

Olizza immediately attempted to reverse the process.

Unfortunately, returning an interdimensional creature to its original dimension turned out to be considerably more complicated than accidentally bringing one into hers.

After several unsuccessful experiments, two minor explosions, one moderately serious fire, and an unfortunate incident involving a wrench, Olizza reached the only reasonable scientific conclusion.

She kept him.

And so began Olizza Oopsieboom's groundbreaking research into what she would eventually name:

Applied Interdimensional Mechanics.

Other people had a different name for it.

Olizza considers those people unqualified to comment.

---

Project Nibbles — Field Observation #1

Demons appear resistant to normal troubleshooting.